Raised By Wolv.., Uh, Cats

Part of the process of coming to terms with the odditiy of my childhood family is finding new understanding of situations and events. It's a freeing process if not always comfortable.

Because the behaviour of people was not always predictable my understanding of people is far from ideal. My understanding of cat behaviour, however, is extensive. Cats were predictable. I could count on the reaction of a cat if I petted it, or fed it, or if it fell into the tub where I was bathing. Cats didn't strike out for no apparent reason. If a cat was aggressive, I could always find a good reason. They had times they wanted to be alone and times when they wanted attention. Cats have good boundaries. If they don't want something, they're not shy about it. Unlike people, with cats I'm comfortable.

In the spirit of full disclosure, there have been two cats I couldn't befriend. One was a friend's pet who fought with things that weren't there and obviously had a mental impairment. She was a unique cat, special in her own way. The other was a kitten born to one of our cats. This kitten was different from all the others in the litter. It never wanted any contact with other cats or humans. It was almost as if it was born feral.

So now I understand why my feline friends have been so precious to me. They were the only living beings in my household that made sense. It explains, too, why losing them saddens me so, whereas losing my parents has/does not. To my feline friends, now long gone, who helped me keep my sanity, I owe you more love and thanks than I can ever hope to repay to your kind. I'll still keep trying though, one scritch, one catnip ball at a time.

Secret child had divided Covina gunman and his wife

Scary. I mean really scary. As more and more details come out about this guy, how he methodically planned and used technical knowledge to carry out this thing, including the release of gas reminds me far too much of my father. The Santa suit, booby trapping the car and suit, it's all eerily within what I grew up to consider "normal". Even his lawyers description of him as a calm guy who gave no indication of what he was planning, is all too familiar. It gives me an appreciation of what my mother may have faced if she ever considered leaving him. No one outside our house would have believed what he was capable of.

For me, the most interesting thing is this killer blew it. He'd planned on fleeing the country, securing air tickets to Canada and wrapping a large amount of cash to his leg. The suicide was a fallback position. We'll likely never know, but my guess is he was overconfident and he made a literally fatal mistake.

OK, so I don't know this guy from Adam. It just feels like I do. My prayers go out to the family who discovered too late, and in the most heinous way, of what he was capable.

In Praise of OJ Simpson

The temptation to call this entry "The Left-Handed Benefit of OJ Simpson" left quickly when I remembered my militantly left-handed grandmother. But, that's fodder for another post.

I received a great benefit from the trials and tribulations of OJ Simpson, especially the recordings of him in his more, uh, candid moments. You see, all the yelling, screaming, swearing and sounds of stuff being tossed about seem normal to me. When I listen to the recordings, my first reaction is, "yeah, and?". It strikes me that I see very few other people reacting in the same way. This confuses me. It also gives me pause because I've learned my gut, which in this case tells me to trust other people's reaction. So OJ's rantings are unusual? They've crossed some line? OJ repeatedly screaming obscenities out his car window at the prosecutor's house isn't just something people do?

Even contemplating these last phrases seem silly. Surely his behaviour (apart from accusations of burglary, etc.) isn't that out of line. He was angry and that's what people do when they're angry, right?

I have no idea where it comes from, but my ability to doubt what I know I've heard and seen is amazing. Perhaps I misunderstood people's comments. Perhaps OJ was just angry.