Part of the process of coming to terms with the odditiy of my childhood family is finding new understanding of situations and events. It's a freeing process if not always comfortable.
Because the behaviour of people was not always predictable my understanding of people is far from ideal. My understanding of cat behaviour, however, is extensive. Cats were predictable. I could count on the reaction of a cat if I petted it, or fed it, or if it fell into the tub where I was bathing. Cats didn't strike out for no apparent reason. If a cat was aggressive, I could always find a good reason. They had times they wanted to be alone and times when they wanted attention. Cats have good boundaries. If they don't want something, they're not shy about it. Unlike people, with cats I'm comfortable.
In the spirit of full disclosure, there have been two cats I couldn't befriend. One was a friend's pet who fought with things that weren't there and obviously had a mental impairment. She was a unique cat, special in her own way. The other was a kitten born to one of our cats. This kitten was different from all the others in the litter. It never wanted any contact with other cats or humans. It was almost as if it was born feral.
So now I understand why my feline friends have been so precious to me. They were the only living beings in my household that made sense. It explains, too, why losing them saddens me so, whereas losing my parents has/does not. To my feline friends, now long gone, who helped me keep my sanity, I owe you more love and thanks than I can ever hope to repay to your kind. I'll still keep trying though, one scritch, one catnip ball at a time.
It's Been A Long Time...
4 years ago
6 comments:
You are not alone.
My real mother, for all intents and purposes, was a brown Abyssinian. She escorted me to the school bus stop, and met me there and walked me home, played tag with me, supervised my homework, and insisted that I go to bed by a certain hour [she did both of these by heading into the bedroom and yowling until I gave in and either hit the books or went to bed]. Once when I was very, very ill, she left my side only to eat and visit the loo... watching over me for a solid week.
I never for a moment doubted the reality and strength of her love, and she never for a moment had reason to doubt the reality and strength of mine. My biological mother, of course, constantly threatened to give her away. Which, thank God, never happened.
I've paid that love forward as often as humanly possible, and in her honor, in every generation of furchildren I've tended since her death, one girl has carried a name that rhymes with hers. I can think of no better memorial.
I'm also reasonably certain that if it were not for cats, I would be seriously limited in my ability to give and receive any kind of healthy caring.
Aloof, my ears and tail. Bless them, and bless you.
And thank you for writing this... you are NOT alone!!!!!
Stormchild, your Abyssinian mom sound very special!
My cat doesn't understand daylight savings so when 10 pm hits my cat thinks it's 11 pm and tries to shoo me off to bed.
Even when people have good, normal (non-narcissistic) parents/relatives, grieving more for a late pet is pretty common but the guilt of such reaction often prevents people from admitting it. Now for those of us stuck with naracissist parents then our level of grief at their passing is going to range from zero to less than zero while grieving for our pets will be the normal level.
::Enilna (for some reason this site isn't digging my openid)
your blog is feel good......
Stormchild, thank you for sharing your story. It inspired a warm smile and a knowledge I'll remember it each time I see an Abyssinian.
Ella
Enilna! I'm so glad to 'see' you here. Perhaps I've discovered a benefit to not keeping a normal schedule: I don't have to try to explain daylight savings time to my felines. Teehe.
I'd never thought about grieving that way: the sense of loss I feel for my cat is normal. That's very interesting.
Ella
goooooood girl, I'm afraid I'm a bit dull. I don't understand your comment. Could you clarify it for me?
Ella
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