And Then There Were None

It wasn't until age 30 that I realized just how miserable I was and began to question the choice direction I had made for taken in my life. I do understand that it *was* a choice I made, but until then I never considered that I had other choices. Within the framework of what I had been taught was Good and Bad, it was assumed I would work in a technical/scientific field. The only other possible option was in some form of business with the exception of marketing or advertising. Marketing and advertising were considered useless since they had little to do with hard facts and more with perception. Such things were labeled stupid, irrelevant and Bad.

Person 101

Being a person is a scary thought. Having my own likes and dislikes, not adopting those that I'm "supposed to". I never really learned this. I liked what was right in the eyes of my dad. He knew what was right; he told me; I liked it. It was all quite easy: hair that looks like "this" is good; hair that looks like "that" is bad. All of life was categorized and there were always Good Reasons for what was good and bad.

Unlearning that mindset wasn't actually that hard. After a few examples that disproved the Good Reasons, a reasonable, critical eye could see how arbitrary the rules were. Still, it took well into adulthood for the process to begin.

Figuring out what I, as a person, like has been difficult, though. It's all too easy to get caught in the prescribed goods and bads. It's also all too easy to just adopt what someone around me likes.