Grocery Shopping Alone

One thing about being an only child is the necessity to learn to play by oneself. When I was eight, we moved into a neighborhood where most of our neighbors were senior citizens. I became very good at playing by myself.

The past few times grocery shopping, I noticed most people who were there alone were talking on their cell phones. Even some people who were there with other people were carrying on a conversation on their cell phone! At times, it appeared that I was the only one there who didn't have their cell stuck to their ear. I was alone in the grocery store even while I was surrounded by people. It felt strangely comforting. It was sad, too.

For me, grocery shopping is some time when I can be alone and quiet with my thoughts. I don't *have* to interact, I can just think and concentrate on my task. Sometimes I wonder whether we're losing our comfort with just being alone with ourselves. It seems for many people if they aren't talking on their cell phones, they're listening to their iPod or radio. When do these people take time to just ruminate? Have we gotten to the point where not having something going on in our ears is just too uncomfortable?

God Works in Mysterious Ways!

Today, one of the children decided to listen to Focus on the Family's audio production of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. I hadn't listened to it since I'd heard of NPD. It has new meaning to me now.

I understand that Dickens' wrote the story as an allegory. It tells the well known story of Scrooge ; it also tells the story of a culture losing the value of human life. It would be hard to argue that there's lots of narcissism involved in both stories. Is it safe to describe Scrooge as a narcissist?

At university, one of my literature professors made an interesting observation: in a good piece of literature, a character never does anything that is not in some way foreshadowed. In theatre one might say that the character would always behave "in character". I believe this is true in real life also. It's why some people can read others so well. People's behaviour should never really surprise us.

So what of Scrooge, the narcissist, making such a radical turn around with his life? Is it the remembrance of the loving kindness of his sister that ultimately softens him? Perhaps. Might it be remembering his first employer and the way he lived his life? Maybe. Could it be the knowledge that despite his nastiness, his employee and his nephew still loved him? Possibly. What of the people who so callously stole the dead man's possessions? I think not. The same Scrooge who wouldn't sign Marley's death certificate until after the close of business would think nothing of the living appropriating the material possessions of the dead.

So what's the point? While not ignoring the fact that Scrooge is fictional, what changed Scrooge's life with, of course, the help of the spirits, was love. It was love, even in the face of nastiness and cruelty. Now, to be sure, the people who purposefully engaged Scrooge the narcissist and treated him with love were people who had the ability to be secure in themselves with a support system to help anchor them. In the end, their relationships mattered.

As an ACON, I may not be in the position to engage a narcissist, but I'm glad there are people who can. I watched people like that engage my father. I have no idea how the Holy Spirit dealt with my father, but I'd like to think that the seeds planted and watered by those godly people who put themselves in the path of a narcissist could have bore fruit. I'm glad, too, that I can have the same hope for my culture.