A New Height In Societal Evolution

Pregnancy pact results in lots of teen moms


Just as when I heard of the terrible events that happened at Columbine High School, I'm not surprised. One article I read quoted the principal as saying most of the girls were known to have low self esteem. A former student at the high school is quoted as saying the girls are looking for unconditional love.

It may be a gigantic leap, but I smell narcissism. I'm not talking Narcissistic Personality Disorder (necessarily), more like societal narcissism. Perhaps this is even projection on my part, but I have difficulty in believing teenage girls who have a healthy relationship with their parents would make this pack.

From my perspective, these girls are seeking to build something they don't have, but strongly desire: a place where they belong in a family. News articles report that the girls planned to get pregnant so they could raise their children together. They were building their own family.

While it's true teenage years are frequently difficult ones, I firmly believe if a child has a family in which she feels like she belongs -- whether she gets that belonging from a parent, a grandparent, aunt, older sister or even an unrelated mentor-- a teenager won't go to such extreme measure to create a family of her own.

Obviously there are more reasons than just narcissism for weak to non-existent relationships between parents and their children. Illnesses, whether mental or physical, certainly can take a toll.

For years blamed my lack of relationship with my mother on her working out of the home. My theory was, if she'd only been there, I would have had a mom. My theory met it's fatal flaw when I talked with another latchkey kid. His mother, a widow, *had* to work full time to put food on the table. His sense of family and love for his mother was strong even though his time with her was limited. He *knew* she loved him. It was a given, an indisputable fact, something he knew in the innermost depths of his being.

So, if it's not that parents are too busy working, or even too stressed as was the widow mentioned above who struggled to feed her children long before men and women received equal pay, what is it?

Narcissism is on a steady rise in our society. Thirty years ago women in L'Oréal commercials proclaimed that the product may be more expensive, "but I'm worth it!" said in a way that leaves no doubt as to the woman's sense of entitlement. Today we live with road rage, the most frivolous of law suits, children's picture books that explain mommy will look different because she is getting plastic surgery to be prettier, and the idea that if something offends us it should not be said, done, taught, on display and perhaps should even be illegal, especially in public. We are The Me Generation come to its fruition: The Embodiment of Narcissism.

Teenagers making a pregnancy pact? Why not? If it feels good, do it, right?