Family Visit: Two Days and Counting

Yes, that's right, a family visit, more precisely in-laws visiting. Eight of them. My mother-in-law kept the family together and now that she's dead, I'm impressed that we all haven't gone our separate ways and completely lost track of one another.

When it comes to *my* family...well, I don't exactly keep track, or even in touch, with them. I like it that way. Family, my family, brings to mind demands of obligation and responsibility. It means sacrificing whatever I have and/or want and do whatever is demanded of me. It means accepting that I don't matter. Given that I have challenges feeling like I matter, family gatherings have a big impact on me.

Family visits with my in-laws aren't like that. Like most people, each of them has their quirks, and we'd drive each other crazy if we spent a lot of time together. I do need time-off during the visit, but everyone seems to be OK with my quirk.

As a kid, I wished to live closer to our extended families. I idealized what it would be like to have big family gatherings around birthdays and holidays. When I've talked to my cousins about it, they say they enjoyed. Yet, when I think of family gatherings, there was a certain tension there. I don't have any idea what it's all about, but it was certainly there. It's interesting to note that my family rarely gets together anymore, even on Thanksgiving or Christmas.