Not only do you feel bad that your poor kid doesn't have a real grandparent and is missing out on such a special relationship, you can't help but be reminded that's exactly what you had to deal with for most of your life.
This sentence is hard for me to read. It's even harder to think about it. Is this true? Is how my children are treated by their narcissist grandparents the way I was treated? I can't wrap my brain around this. Perhaps it's just that I don't want to do so, or that I'm not ready to do so. Just the thought of it and I'm sad beyond words.
The grandparents who didn't bother to show up for their grandchild's birthday parties, or who showed up three hours late, treated me the same way? The grandparents who, upon hearing that their first grandchild was on the way, changed the subject to how riduculously expensive their cell phone service was? The grandparents who didn't bother to acknowledge the birth of their second grandchild? It's a scary thought. Scary, though, isn't a severe enough word. Sad, depressing, devastating.
I suppose I know it's true. Maybe.
3 comments:
Cinder Ella~
"Scary, though, isn't a severe enough word. Sad, depressing, devastating.
I suppose I know it's true. Maybe."
I don't have children, so I don't have that comparison. Although, now I think of it, my sister's stepson told my mother once, that she was a "mean, mean lady." She thought this was so funny, having just scared the crap out of him for the fun of it.
But I understand that scary is not a strong enough word. For me, as I begin to realize that the mother I thought I had - the one that I thought loved me under all that meanness, never really existed... Sad. Depressing. Devastating. Yeah. I have tottered back and forth from believing it and wondering if I'm just making it worse than it was. No. The little kid got it right. She is a mean, mean lady. She always was and she is getting worse. The truth sucks, sometimes, but the freedom on the other end of it is well worth it!
I have tottered back and forth from believing it and wondering if I'm just making it worse than it was.
I know this all too well. I wonder if it's a common trait for children of n parents to constantly question themselves and their perceptions.
Yeah. The more I read, the more I think that it is very common for the adult children of narcissists to doubt themselves.
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