On Being Invisible

I was just sitting here contemplating if and how it feels having my in-laws around compared to being around my narcissistic parents. I found myself wondering if I feel invisible.

I don't have an answer. It occurs to me that there may be degrees of invisibility. For some reason, the thought of that makes me uneasy. I don't suppose it should be a surprise that such things likely occur on a continuum. I guess I chalk it up to experiencing such complete invisibility when it came to my family, that the thought of being at all invisible is so unpleasant.

One of the topics of discussion these past few days has been how my fun/tacky theme for the gathering would have been the impetus for my (now deceased) mother-in-law to give me all sorts of similarly themed gifts for birthdays and Christmas. That would have been just like her. Invisibility was never an issue with her. It's something that I liked, but also something that at times made me uncomfortable. There was no blending into the background, no just sitting and watching. She was good at making sure that everyone was always involved.

So, I'm the hostess for this get-together. I'd like to think I could do half as good a job as my mother-in-law at making sure everyone is included.