Friday, May 9, 2008

I Don't Understand Mother's Day

It's not a big surprise, really. That doesn't mean I'm not torn about sending mine a card. I am. Cards are just so.....I dunno. Phoney. Silly. Inappropriate. All of that and more. My mother wasn't (and isn't) a great mother. I can't even classify her as "good enough". She's not someone I can run to when I'm sad or scared or need comfort. Come to think of it, she's not someone I can run to at all. She has no idea who I am, and doesn't really seem to care to find out. She's been a bad grandmother to my children. So...exactly what should a card say?

Mom, you bore me and raised me. I won't hold that against you?
To the most oblivious mom I know, I hope you have a great day?

I'm sad about not having a "mom", but it is what is. It feels wrong pretending that I have a wonderful mother who I want to celebrate. When I see people who appear genuinely comfortable and happy with their mothers, it's an entirely foreign thing. The first thought that comes to my mind is "Why??". Seriously. I just don't get it.

I don't hate my mother. She who she is. She's self-absorbed. Whether she's always been that way, or became that way after years of marriage to my father, the effect is still the same: I'm not her child, another person with whom to share life, instead I am somewhere to go when she wants/needs something. I've never found a Mother's Day card that says that in some flowerly way.

So, Sunday is Mother's Day. We'll be celebrating it in our household. I still won't understand it. Celebrating mothers.....what's next? Celebrating refrigerators?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Some suggested cards :)
http://www.someecards.com/upload/mother_s_day/

Cinder Ella said...

ROFL! It's a good thing she doesn't have internet access.