I don't remember when I first watched Fiddler on the Roof, but I do remember the first time I watched other movies. Like my first James Bond flick in a theatre. I was 7. Much of it frightened me. It wasn't until later Bond movies that other parts made me intensely uncomfortable.
It shouldn't be surprising that my n father would have no idea that it was inappropriate. Just like he had no idea that it was inappropriate to pose his then 5 year-old daughter nude with a Playboy magazine.
What about The Other Parent?
I'm not trying to rake anyone over coals, but how does the other parent stand by and put up with this sort of stuff? I know just how nasty the narcissist is, and just how extreme their rage and manipulation can be, but.....isn't there a line somewhere? Or is the ability of the narcissist to pour on the charm, or skillfully apply the invalidation just too much? Interacting with a narcissist can definitely be crazy-making.
What is it that allows the narcissist to get away with it?
3 comments:
Just like he had no idea that it was inappropriate to pose his then 5 year-old daughter nude with a Playboy magazine
What the hell! Okay, by now I learned enough about narcissism that these people have no sense of boundaries and much of their actions are slightly one notch away from full blown sexual abuse. And I read enough experience that alot of our counterparts do become victims of sexual abuse. Still, no matter how much I read or learn about the subject, it infuriates me frickin time. What helped kept my sanity after all these years is a normal sister. I'm really sorry you had to go through all of this alone, must have been confusing as heck.
Hmm... the other parent. I asked my father a couple of months ago why he did not protect my sister and I from our nmom. He got a look on his face that said why - it never occurred to him. In my case, my father was never aware of us kids as actual PEOPLE, so...
As to the playboy thing... when I was 3, my mom and her aunt decided on a way to get her (the aunt's) 17 year old son to get the pornography off of his wall (he had it glued to the wall above his bed). They decided to glue cotton balls & nipples from my baby bottles strategically... and she took me (3 years old, remember) with her and gave me a magic marker and told me to color on the pictures... I don't get how they can't see how inappropriate this is - even now she doesn't seem to...
It's definitely been confusing. So many things I thought were reasonable, I see they're not when my children reach those ages. The Playboy magazine thing only hit me when watching a ballet recital. The thought of those beautiful little girls.....sickens me.
I just don't get how parents can't understand or even consider the results of the actions on their children. For me, it says something, that even when asked about it years later, they can't see the inappropriateness. It's disgusting that narcissists seem to be able to rope other people into their bizarre behaviour.
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